My job is great. I get to make my own schedule and work with a company that pays me very well for doing something totally cool. I tell people about a store that has great everyday products. What makes it special is that this store saves people money & no harsh chemicals are used; the products are top of the line!
So, my day is fairly straightforward. I look on my computer to see who has requested information, I fill them in on the details. They usually love the philosophy, credibility and quality of the store and try it out. I then let my company know they have a new customer and the company takes over from there.
All in all, I have gotten to know some pretty great people through my work. Customers usually keep in touch and I like to check on them to see how they like their new store.
Lately I have been getting questions from friends, friends of friends and in this one case -- a mother of a new friend. I am glad to help everyone become a customer, so lately I have been doing some face to face talking -- not just over the phone to people from all over the country.
Well, the pattern of the conversation is fairly predictable.
- Find out special interests and needs.
- Give people the info they want.
- Answer questions.
- If there is an objection to finishing the decision making dance immediately- answer the intrinsic question and move forward. 99.0% of the time objections are simply habitual ways that people ask for more information.
- When people decide to try the store I finish the minimal paperwork.
- They are ready to shop at will -- and whenever
Then I met Polarity Pillow!
Everything made sense to her. She nodded and asked good questions. She loved the convenience and the great prices and the wellness aspects of the products. She loved the ingredients and the research that went into the products. She was impressed with the satisfaction guarantees. After all this is not rocket science. . . . or is it?
I quickly realized that to her, everything was . . . . weird science. She actually said, "Let me go out to my car and get my polarity pillow."
I thought she was
a) kidding and really just needed a bathroom break or
b) suffering with a bad back and needed a lumbar support that she, for some reason, called her "polarity pillow" or
c) had really said something like, "Let me get my regularity pill so..."
Keeping a neutral expression I did the polite thing and said, "Sure."
Dang if she didn't go to the car and get her "POLARITY PILLOW" -- a little pillow (I kid you not) that she proceeded to set things on to subjectively measure their ... uhhhm .... "polarity".
She started saying things like, "Ahh, this one is good for you but not for me." This is baaaad for me. Too much polarity. They must have done that in the way they packaged it."
No joke! She put things on the pillow stared ahead and got her "readings".
I started looking around for the cameras - I must be on candid camera, I thought. Wait, I was in my own house.
Who WAS this woman, again?? How well did I actually know her daughter? Why didn't her daughter tell me she was . . . . uhhh, certifiably insane! Did she have a knife or something and was she going to brandish it and say, "YOU have too much polarity and you must die!! Kowabungaaaaa!!"
It was all so far out into the weird zone that I ceased to know what was polite to say. I had suddenly become part of her twighlight zone. I had one thought doing a the time step in my head...
It was time for her to leave !
I think I maintained a grace and decorum befitting Julie Andrews in Sound of Music. At least, I hoped I did. I felt more like a character in Tommy the Who or Outer Limits.
As I bid her "have a lovely evening" & closed the door, I made it to the kitchen before the giggles began. I then laughed until I almost cried.
ps) It then hit me.....What in the world was I going to say to her daughter? After a second I collapsed into a fresh heap of laughter.
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