I Should've Ordered Glutinous Rice Chicken!

Can we all say, "Lost in translation?"

This is a list of actual English subtitles from real Hong Kong Kung Fu Movies. 

These are the results of the original Chinese dialogue being rendered — or rather, beaten out of recognizable shape — into English:

1. "I am darn unsatisfied to be killed in this way."

2. "Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep."

3. "Gun wounds again?"

4. "Same old rules: no eyes, no groin."

5. "A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries."

6. "I'll burn you into a barbecue chicken!"

7. "Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?"

8. "Quiet or I'll blow your throat up."

9. "You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken!"

10. "I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!"

11. "You daring lousy guy!"

12. "I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!"

13. "Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected."

14. "How can you use my intestines as a gift?"

15. "The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?"

16. "Beat him out of recognizable shape."

H/T: Patrick Madrid