I Love You - in German

Ich liebe dich

Let's break it down:

"ich"
It sounds something like the /j/ sound in Spanish, kind of like a snake hissing.
Most English-speakers get away with saying "ish," as in "finish" or "fish."

"liebe"
Say this slowly "lee-buh."

"dich"
The "ich" in "Dich" is pronounced the same as "ich" in the first word.
"Dich" sounds similar to the English word "dish," except the /ch/ sound is produced in the middle of the mouth instead of the front.

If you want to get technical, that difficult /ch/ in German is a voiceless palatal fricative.
But it isn't pronounced the same way you would pronounce the /ch/ voiceless palatal fricative in English.

Yes, you can take the girl out of the linguistics and speech pathology career . . . . but you can't take the "annoying need to discuss these things" out of the girl!

I Should've Ordered Glutinous Rice Chicken!

Can we all say, "Lost in translation?"

This is a list of actual English subtitles from real Hong Kong Kung Fu Movies. 

These are the results of the original Chinese dialogue being rendered — or rather, beaten out of recognizable shape — into English:

1. "I am darn unsatisfied to be killed in this way."

2. "Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep."

3. "Gun wounds again?"

4. "Same old rules: no eyes, no groin."

5. "A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries."

6. "I'll burn you into a barbecue chicken!"

7. "Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?"

8. "Quiet or I'll blow your throat up."

9. "You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken!"

10. "I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!"

11. "You daring lousy guy!"

12. "I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!"

13. "Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected."

14. "How can you use my intestines as a gift?"

15. "The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?"

16. "Beat him out of recognizable shape."

H/T: Patrick Madrid

Your Oxymoron for the Day

H/T Patrick Madrid :-)
You really should check out his book: The Godless Delusion
written by Patrick Madrid and Kenneth Hensley

Am I Krumping Now?

This still just makes me smile and giggle!!

BP - It's a Sign!

Just had to share this . . . .

Dog Diary and Cat Diary

The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now . . . .

Mimeographs, Rotary Phones and Typewriters

I was going over my list of things to do and I'd actually written:

4. Run off scripts for the play

Hello! In what century am I living?!!"
If you are over 40 you might know what "run off" means in this context!
I chuckled and was reminded of what Sr Mary Martha wrote in her blog recently. I paraphrased (don't I always?) Here it is:

We don't mimeograph anymore. That's good, because I think people enjoyed inhaling the mimeograph ink way too much. On the other hand, the teachers and kids were almost always in a good mood.

You know, when I was little one of the big reasons I wanted to be a teacher was so I could run that mimeograph machine and pass out those lovely purply pages while deeply reveling in that school fragrance.

This whole mini flash back got me thinking. Most kids today don't know what rotary phones and typewriters look like -- much less how they work. I must throw in this small fact -- my 8 year old son uses my rotary phone routinely. It is avocado green and was the "cooolest" thing when I was in Jr. High. (remember Jr. High?)
Anyway, his friends think he is a genius for knowing how to work it.
Isn't it funny how people still say, "dial" and "type"?


As a new acquaintance, Walter, said to me, "Star Trek communicators are flip phones and phasers are used for lasiks surgery." I answered, "Yep, and when Maxwell Smart talked on his shoe little did we know we woud ever have even a phone without a cord!"

Here is an interesting question. What are some things we routinely use in 2010 that will be obsolete when elementary school students are 40?

Michelle Obama on Sesame Street

All in Good Fun . . . . Lefties, Don't Be Mad!

Cheers!

Is this akin to, "If you don't know how many calories are in it then it counts as zero calories??

Book (with sub titles) & in English

Watch the Norwegian version (above) first!

B O O K

Young Girl Reading (1894) - Mary Cassat

Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade named BOOK. Book is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere-even sitting in an armchair by the fire-yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a memory stick.

Here's how it works: Book is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding hundreds of thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, Books with more information simply use more pages. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.

Book may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it. Book never crashes or requires rebooting, though like other display devices, it can become unusable if exposed to high ambient temperatures. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an "index" feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.

Book can be stored for an almost unlimited amount of time without connecting any outside power source. Many Book units may be stored together as they cause no interference with one another, even when placed in close proximity. An optional "Bookmark" accessory allows you to open Book to the exact place you left it in a previous session-even if the Book has been closed.

Bookmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single Bookmark can be used in Books by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous Book markers can be used in a single Book if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the Book. You can also make personal notes next to Book text entries with an optional programming tool, the Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (PENCILS). Portable, durable, and affordable, Book is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave. Also, Book's appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking. Look for a flood of new titles soon.
H/T: Athos @ Chronicles of Atlantis

The Blogger's Resume

PHC - English Majors Script

This is brought to you straight from the PHC site. If you are not familiar with Garrison Keiller you MUST check out A Prairie Home Companion on the radio.
If you ARE familiar with PHC you already know how great the scripts are and how amazing the radio talent is -- check out their website!

Listen

GK: ...brought to you by the Partnership of English Majors—(THEME) It's a beautiful thing, majoring in English, devoting yourself to the classics of English literature.

SS: No longer mourn for me when I am dead
Than you shall hear the surly sullen bell
Give warning to the world that I am fled
From his vile world, with vilest worms to dwell:

GK: And even though your studies may not lead you to the career you were hoping for —

SS: Welcome to Little Buddy Burgers. Would you be interested in a Bucket O' Burgers today?

GK: Nonetheless you will always be an English major, and that means that language will always be important. Maybe too important.

SS: I don't understand why at the airport they put up a sign that says "This Is A Non-Smoking Terminal"—

TR: What?

SS: "This Is A Non-Smoking Terminal" — why?

TR: What's wrong?

SS: It implies that it's the terminal that is not smoking. What they mean to say is — "Don't Smoke In This Building" — Or— "No Smoking" — Why not say so?

TR: Jennifer, please—

SS: It just infuriates me when people misuse the language. I can't help it. It makes me wild with fury. It's our language, Richard!!!! Let's use it properly!!! Is that too much to ask???

TR: Jennifer, what are you doing?

SS: I am going to the airport, Richard, and I am going to stand under the "This Is A Non-Smoking Terminal" sign and I am going to light up a cigarette. And when they arrest me, I am going to take this to court and if I'm convicted I will appeal on the grounds that the sign did not say what it meant.

TR: Honey, please.

SS: It's my duty as an English major — when we allow our language to be degraded, it is degrading to us as a people!

TR: Please, don't.

SS: I have to do this.

GK: Now there is help for language obsession with the English Major hotline. TR (RECORDING): Welcome to the Hotline of English. If you wish to hear this message in Spanish, say "Por Favor" or press one. If you wish to hear it in Italian, say "Prego" or press two. (BEEP) (TR ITALIAN AND FADE)

GK: We learn language tolerance by venturing into another language and making our own mistakes.

SS: (HESITANT) Si prega di scusarmi per essere così stupido. (TR ITALIAN DISAPPROVAL) I am trying, okay?!?!? (SOBS)

GK: The English Hotline — available in fifteen different languages — now including Swedish (TR SWEDISH) a service from the Partnership of English Majors.



Disclaimer: There is no copyright infringement intended with this quoted information. This is posted in full because my students are not allowed to go to outside websites. I have credited the original source AND I strongly endorse the program to other readers of this blog.



A Brief History

---

If you are asking yourself . . . . what is A Prairie Home Companion????? . . . . here is the start of that answer at the site's brief history web page.

"If you showed up on July 6, 1974, at the Janet Wallace Auditorium at Macalester College in Saint Paul and plunked down your $1 admission (50 cents for kids) to attend the very first broadcast of A Prairie Home Companion, you were in select company. There were about 12 people in the audience. But those in attendance thought there were worse ways to spend a Saturday afternoon, so Garrison Keillor and the APHC team went on to produce close to 500 live shows in the first 10 years alone."

Read the rest of the story here!

Oh Yeah!

Di Tri Berrese

A huge H/T to La Dolce Vita This is her post!

Okay, so you want to speak Italian? Read the following story of The Three Bears with a heavy Italian accent and see if you understand what you're saying. I'll get you started with the first couple of lines: Once upon a time was three bears; mamma bear, pappa bear, and baby bear. Live in country near forest. Nice house, no mortgage. One day pappa, mamma, and baby go beach, hurry and forget to lock the door.

Now you try...(BTW, the last word in the story is city hall)

Di Tri Berrese

Uans appona taim uas tri berrese; mamma berre, pappa berre, e beibi berre. Live inna contri nire foresta. Naise aus, no mugheggia. Uanna dei pappa, mamma, e beibi go bice, orie e furghetta locche di dorra.

Bai enne bai commese Goldilocchese. Sci garra nattingha tu du batte meiche troble. Sci puscia olle fudde daon di maute; no live cromme. Den sci gos appesterrese enne slipse in olle beddse. Bai enne bai commese omme di tri berrese, olle sannebronne enne send inne scius. Dei garra no fudde; dei garra no beddse. En uara dei goine du tu Goldilocchese? Tro erre aute inne strit? Colle pulissemenn?

Deis uas Italien berrese, enne dei slippe onne florre. Goldilocchese stei derre tri deise: dei esch erre tu meiche di beddse, sci runne omme craine tu erre mamma. Uatssiuse? Uara iu goine du? Go compleine sittiole?


Here are my comments and then the author's reply:

Soutenus said...PLEEEEEASE tell me that is real Italian??? It's a joke right? Cause I understood it all. If it was real Italian I wouldn't be able to understand it. It's a joke, right? And I want to speak Italian sooooo bad, you have no idea.

"Uara iu goine du?" MyMary (my adopted grandmother) used to say that ALL the time. My Mom's name was Marge and MyMary would say, "Uara iu goine du, ahMarchie?"
OK, now I have to go straight home from school and make some pizzelles -- I am missing MyMary so mucha!

Bia said...

Soutenus- You are too, too funny! I don't want to burst your bubble by saying that this is not Italian...because it is, of sorts. Read it fast, wave your arms, and you could be Italian! In any case, there is nothing wrong in pretending...it fuels the imagination! And I have to say, I was craving pizzelle all afternoon!Ciao!

Soutenus said...

I did -- I did!! I was talking and gesturing and lost in a place (in my mind) where I really thought I had just come over from the old country!! My husband and son walked into the kitchen and thought I'd gone round the bend.

BTW -- I couldn't understand MyMary until I was about 10. I really did think her broken English was Italian and that both my parents were fluent.

Ciao!

http://ladolcevitathesweetlifewiththreesons.blogspot.com/

What's Wrong WithThis Picture?

These guys have been working hard. They have just finished setting those black steel posts into concrete to prevent drivers from pulling up next to the sports bar. Looks like they are cleaning up and getting ready to go home. What's wrong with this picture?

H/T: A Nawty Mouser

This Made Me Laugh Tonight

No, I didn't hear it today at our faculty meeting or at dinner with my son or even at the FTCM class.
Nope, I tucked my little guy into bed came downsatirs to wind down with my blog, picked out a really ridiculous movie and popped it into the DVD player. ---> Blades of Glory. Just a note - this IS NOT a kid movie. In fact, it may not be a movie for many adults. A lot of the movie is just stupidly base . . . . . . . but the rest of it is so ridiculously funny!

____________________

Chazz Michael Michaels (Will Ferrell): What about you, you have any tats?

Jimmy MacElroy (Jon Heder): I got my face painted once at the Blueberry Festival.

___________________

[In front of enormous "Capture The Dream" sign]
Chazz (Will Ferrell): Let's capture the dream.
Jimmy (Jon Heder): Capture the-wow I love it. Where'd you come up with that?
Chazz (Will Ferrell): I have no idea where I came up with that.
Jimmy (Jon Heder): Cool.
Chazz (Will Ferrell): Let's kick some ice.

______________________

Jimmy MacElroy (Jon Heder): They're laughing at us!

Chazz Michael Michaels (Will Ferrell): Hey, they laughed at Louis Armstrong when he said he was going to go to the moon. . . .and now he's up there and laughing at them.

________________________

Are You Juggling?

You know what it is like when things are REALLY crazy? When you have all sorts of extra things you are trying to "keep up in the air" besides your normal workload?

I think juggling is an interesting analogy for being busy... I actually do a lot of juggling in school with my kids. Really, I do! You can check out my P.E. blog to read my post: Juggling is Good for the Brain!

What I am learning as I juggle a tad better and better each time is that juggling A LOT of objects is not really hard, as long as all of the objects are the same. When juggling five balls, your arms just find a rhythm and you lock into it and you don't actually have to THINK about where all five objects are. (Like being in your "regular" schedule, which is probably pretty busy, but you are used to it).

It's when you include one object that is heavier or more awkward than the others that you actually have to keep track of where it is in the order, so you can prepare to exert the extra force necessary to push the object up, or to grab its handle.

Although it might be harder -- my theory is that it is more fun! I like the challenge. I like what I learn along the way.

The Secret's in the Sauce!